Thursday, September 22, 2005

And now a word from our Sponsors

We’ll now catch those viewers up, who are just joining us from another program. We've been going deep in an interview with the latest phenom to hit the scene, Tobias.

As you well know, he's on his way to being the biggest thing this town has seen in a long time. His fantastic action moves, along with his insatiable wit, unending hilarity and endearing charm have made him everybody's favorite.

This duo, ever recognizable by most people in the biz, is Tobias with his Agent and general assistant: Mommica Amazingly. The saying holds true with this pair, behind every successful man, is a strong woman. Mommica has managed to coordinate and organize a series of encounters and roles that have always allowed Tobias to be featured in his best light. She really lives up to her name: Amazing!

But with such a versatile guy like Tobias, how could anyone go wrong with this leading man. Here, as you can see, he's re-enacting one of his most well known roles: Babysaurus Rex. This feature, which grossed over $3 in its first month, was one of his early successes, and paved the way to stardom.

(never mind the man behind the curtain... err.... I mean hat)
The greatest thing about Tobias is that even though his style is so unique and genuine, he won't change it to fit in with the crowd. He's comfortable being himself. Confidence is so sexy.
And so is he!
Here, you can see a flashback from a few years ago, where he created the dance sensation that Will Smith "borrowed" (Tobias was able to settle out of court with Will, who admitted to a little dancing plagiarism) for his hit song and video: "getting jiggy wit it." If only Tobias had been allowed to shake his stuff, he probably would have given the moves to Will for free.

Part of his daily exercise regimen involves strenuous martial arts, which of course has enabled Tobias to do most of his own stunts, a point which he takes great pride in.

Tobias has been known to work out for 16-20 straight hours, you can spot the ferocity in his eyes as he puts on his radical-badical-tactical pose that earned him the leading role in "Enter the Return of the Chinese Connection Dragon" (the extensive make up required for this film meant that Tobias had to wake up 4 hours before he went to sleep each morning, and sit in makeup for 72 straight hours).

"This was the longest I've ever sat still in my life," Tobias told us. A true professional. He's so professional in fact that he's begun taking on protégés who want to learn the "Tobias-way."

Here, in a candid "post workout" shot, you can see Tobias, with his workout partner, Alexander Mays.

The grueling years of practice have created in Tobias a spirit that can't be quenched; he doesn't know how to quit. Here, even while lying down, he's still trying to land a haymaker. As you can clearly see, Alex has had enough.

Tobias explained the matching outfits, "basically, I like us to wear the same shirts, that way it’s like fighting yourself. It’s a real "mind over matter/inner chi/fighting coach roach" type of thing. I never know which move I'm going to make, so when we spar, I like to keep on my toes. My old boxing coach, whom I lovingly referred to as 'Old coach guy', used to hit me in the head all the time and tell "[me] to keep my mitts up and keep fightin' them 'paches, 'cause they's gonna scalp ya. Arrrr!"' It turns out old coach guy was insane, and spent too much time focusing on his yearly birthday celebration of talk like a pirate day.
Like everything else, Tobias does at 100% - full steam ahead, he's also an avid sleeper. He says that he learned this skill from years in a Tibetan cave, where the yearly temperature drop was 200 degrees below 0 Kelvin. He used these techniques to maintain stasis while encased in blocks of solid ice.

He's been known to drop into a deep sleep wherever he lays his head, and often, he doesn't even need to lay his head anywhere.

Here's his "Full Throttle" sleep mode. This has actually been patented and will be coming out in the fall as part of the FT Tobias Action Figure. Stores are already selling out and its three months from being delivered.


Here he shows off his "No Fear" relaxation pose. Tobias, in a daring operation as a child, replaced his spine with a full action slinky.

The added flexibility is amazing.




And at the end of the day, all Tobias really needs is a nice place to lounge on his private beach, and listen to sound of waves crashing on the shore. Here he's fallen asleep to the rhythmic sounds of nature, the wind tussles his hair, and the afternoon sun warms his face.

Talk about the life...

Until next time... This is "Life, the show."

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Grandma Proulx's house

So the family went up to visit my mom in Grass Valley over Labor Day weekend.

Tobias was acting so strange. He was sleeping for very long periods of time, and then would wake up and eat again. During our trip he had his first 6 hour night of sleep.

Christina was very happy.


My mom, however, was not. She wanted to play with her grandson, so him sleeping and eating all the time, meant that she couldn't hold him that often, unless she wanted to be his pillow.
So that's what we find here. This was fairly common during the weekend.

He was sleeping everywhere. It was pretty cool.





Here's Tobias's older cousin Emily Jeanne Cutler. She's 8 months, to the day, older than T, and you can see how much bigger she is. I think he's going to have a blast having a cousin who's so close in age.

Here's another shot of my out of control poison oak rash. Man that stunk. I couldn't play with either of the babies, nor even give anyone a hug.
Sorry Niki.

So my mom was the baby's play thing, which was perfectly fine for her.

Back in the saddle

Christina mentioned to me that its been a long time since I've actually had time to write one of these posts, so I'm back. She claims that a large quantity of people really miss my sardonic wit and amusing "facts" about Tobias. I'm not too sure, but I'll humor her regardless.
I've had a hard time with my poison oak (notice big red spots on my arm), since I wasn't able to hold little T for so long. You can see how happy I am here. I swear, the smile is truly authentic!

Tobias has the Gangsta Style head cocked back lookin' away posin' with the bling bling fingers in the air! Playa!

And this picture is just me making a funny face. Its hard to tell the difference, I'm such a looker? No?















This one is priceless! Little boy, in little boy clothing, on little boy blanket, on the little boy floor, with his little boy hair and of course the little boy smile.

So Tobias has started to laugh now. This is his smilaugh (Official pronounciation: Smee-Laf, similar to pilaf, only without the rice), since he can't really do them by themselves.

He also laughs, in what could most similarly be described as a "Chipmonk/woodpecker/antelope/zebra" style. It starts out sort of like a cough that didn't happen, and then turns into an undulating chortle, with self induced hiccup sounds, and he closes out with a long moaning noise. He's having a blast of course, and Christina and I pretty much double over whenever he does it. What an awesome little baby.

... we return to our scene as Grandma J is recovering after having been attacked by the vicious beast, unable to hold off the onslaught on our brave and valiant hero, she's tricked into introducing our story's arch nemesis:
Canis familiaris Nikitas (CfN) to our Hero, the world famous Kung Fu Master, known only as "T".

CfN began the attack with her usual opening, but our Hero strikes up his Power pose, feigning weakness, but only to lure the vicious dark one in his clutches. Oh, the horror of what the black dog is capable of. Our hero is so brave!

The fighting was intense. There was fur, slobber, yelping, it was amazing. The whole time, the Amazing T was protecting his Grandmother from the CfN. Oh, what a powerful fight our Kung Fu master put up.

If you'll notice the lightning fast transition from Power Pose, into Dead Bug attack mode. The CfN has no idea what's about to happen.

As we've seen so many times before, our Hero is about to finish the fight...


And our final scene. The attack fist of fury! The cocked leg of vengence and of course his camoflaged starfish pants (can't forget those).

Victory once more!

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Tobias is Two Months Old!!

I can't believe he's Two months old already! We just took him to the doctor for his checkup and we found out that he has gained 5 pouns in the last month. So he now weighs a wopping 12 pounds 7 ounces! and he's a little over 22 inches long. He's in the 30th percentile for height and the 75th percentile for weight, so he's quite stocky :)










We just took a trip to Grandma Proulx's house over the weekend and Justin's sister, Niki, and her beautiful little girl, Emily, came to visit too. Emily was very curious about Tobias and wanted very badly to pull off his hands and feet, but we restrained her :) Justin had poison oak really bad, if you're wondering about his bandages.









This is just a great picture of Grandma Proulx with Tobias.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

For the people in the Flood zones...

So the tradegdy that occurred in the south this week has really been quite devastating. Most especially because there are so few vehicles that can make the trek down and bring in fresh water, fresh food and badly needed medical supplies.

There is one organization that is making the trip daily though, and I think they're worthy of supporting. Feed the Children.org is a great organization is making multiple trips a day down there with needed supplies. To see how they allocate their money, check here.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Father and son chillin on the couch.












I was able to catch Tobias smiling on camera over the weekend. He smiles a lot, but it's not often I'm able to photograph it. usually, he gets all serious as soon as I bring out the camera.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

here's our little boy in his favorite sumo wrestler pose- legs squatted, hands on his knees, and wearing nothing but a diaper. Look at that belly!














Part of the fun of being a mom is getting to play with all the cute outfits, but I don't think Tobias enjoys it as much as I do :)





















Some more adorable sleeping pictures...It's amazing how such a little being can take up so much space in the bed.

















This is Tobias checking out his new Boppy toy. He wasn't quite sure what to think of it. In this picture he actually looks terrified of it, but he really wasn't.










It's been a while since we've posted, Tobias is growing at a rapid pace and is still as cute as ever. Here's him and Grandma Jensen in coordinating outfits. Tobias wanted me to inform everyone he had nothing to do with the coordinating outfits.














Here's a picture of him laying on my lap during our Friday night Bible study. He's very intrested as you can see...

Monday, August 15, 2005

A little character goes a long way

Hey Grandma... look how much I love my puppy neck protectors! Thank you so much! I'm so interested in them, I can turn my head completely around, isn't that neat!

I'm kissing "Spot" right now, meanwhile "Spot" is looking on jealously from behind my head.

(Hey, I'm only 6 weeks old, gimme a break, I couldn't think of another name.)



This is one of those pictures that you can't really say much about. The sheer photogenic nature of Tobias is just astounding.

Take notice at the subtle way he allows the audience to peek up his tiny nostrils, showing all how clean his nasal pipes are.

Also, please draw your attention to the eyelid-less wonder. I'm not sure how or why he had his eyes that open, but its a bit freaky.

And of course the multi colored pacifier. Tobias is a big sucker (by that I mean one who likes to suck, not the Phineas T. Barnum variety)

You can take a baby to the BBQ, but you can't make him interested.

Apparently, he doesn't enjoy dad searing flesh on the ol' gas grill. He was much more interested in the curtains... go figure.








So we told him to sit there and try to look comfortable, relaxed, and just basically exemplify 'chillin' on the couch. I guess we're pushing too hard as parents.

We ask for cool, and he gives us the Tobias Taxedermy Special.

He looks like a troubled stuffed animal. Or some odd child's doll. The kind that inspires years of therapy and vicious nightmares.

I think we'll help him pose next time...

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Tobias is 6 weeks old!!!


Tobias is six weeks old today, I can't believe how fast he's growing! Make sure you compare these recent pictures to the ones of him when he was first born. It's amazing how fast he grows.
This is a picture of Tobias wearing the shoulder strap cushions with puppy dogs on them that Grandma Proulx sent for him. She was concerned about his tender little neck getting rubbed by the straps so she made sure to remedy that. He seems to like them so far.





Here's a couple pictues of dad and the big boy chillin' and watching a movie.










Wednesday, August 10, 2005

A day in the life...

Everyday when I get home Tobias is larger. He's gaining weight, growing longer, and generally looking like someone else's baby ("Hey, he's not mine. My baby is tiny and small and... tiny.") Today I came home and there's a 6'5" middle linebacker sitting in our son's baby carrier, wearing his little clothes. Somehow, Tobias gained 258 pounds since I left this morning. I'd been looking forward to spending some quality time with him, but I guess we'll have to take up Sumo in order to play around now...

(Christina says that I exaggerate, but I think that she's completely wrong, I've never Ever EVER done that!)

Look at the size of that boy!

The really frightening thing is that some women give birth to babies that are this size. YIKES!


Latest Story: So today, Christina told me, little T learned all about his Thumb. He figured out that when he's sad and needs something to keep him happy, conveniently attached to the swinging appendage that happens to strike him in the face every so often is this really cool sucking tool that fits nicely into his mouth. The other discovery was that the complete lack of motor control and the general manner in which his arms flail around means that about the time he was really getting a solid suction on his thumb, some spazming muscle would cause his arm to pull away and yank his pacifier with it. By his resulting cry, he made it known that he was very displeased with this latest action and wanted the responsibile party to right the wrong that had been done to him. Christina told me that acted all miffed and looked at her as though to say, "why'd you do that?!?!"

Eventually he'd find that sucking device again and start the cycle again, only to be shocked back into reality by the uncontrollable nature of his own arm.
I guess he's now officially part of Humanity. Being controlled by situations that are beyond his understanding. Fighting against the uncontrollable nature of the universe and getting upset at circumstances that only after getting smacked in the face do we really understand how it all works. Thankfully our God is much larger than all of this.

This picture isn't really pertaining to the story. Christina was so shocked that he was actually sucking on his own thumb that she wasn't able to get the picture. The past few times he's tried his thumb, he's turned his face away and acted as if he just ate a bug. So this was pretty cool.

Being a HUGE Starwars fan (Thank you very much Mr. Lucas), I had to throw this one in. He's got the Obi Wan Kenobi look down. I especially like the Dr. Evil pinky in the air.


Monday, August 08, 2005


Here's one more, this one really shows some personality. It' s kind of a "Ladies Man" type of smirk. Almost as if he's saying "Hay, what's yo name?" :)

This one actually looks more like a growl, but it really is a smile!



This is Christina signing on for the second time! Today we hit a huge milestone. I caught Tobias' first real smile session on camera! It pretty much melted my heart . It was so adorable.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Something strange is happening

... our little boy is growing up. He's changing right before our eyes. All of it good of course. Its as though we're looking at a different little boy sometimes.
This is the little boy we brought home from the hospital. Tiny, skinny, swimming in his diapers. He was completely awesome at this point, oh so long ago. And now five weeks later, he's also totally awesome, but in new and completely unique ways. Fatherhood is without a doubt the coolest experience I've ever gone through.

I can't figure out why there are dads out there who don't want more of this? Completely amazes me that I get to spend all of this time with this little person who changes so much and so quickly. I pray that I never tire of this.

Here's our little "T" now at 5 weeks. He's looking more and more perfect everyday. His messy flowing hair, his cute little chubby cheeks, and his overall personality are starting to really form and help Christina and I fathom the miracle of the little life we're sharing ours with.

Such an amazing experience.

We're all really glad that we can share it with all of you as well.



Here are a few more pictures from the last week.
This is a perfect shot of his very prevalent double chin and huge cheeks. What a little cutie.












And here he is getting some of that famous "Beauty Sleep" in mom and dad's bed. He hasn't quite figured out that he has a pacified attached to his hand (his thumb), so he just puts his hand up to his mouth and sucks on the back of it. Its all very endearing.

Monday, August 01, 2005


Nikita Security Alert!!!!
Hull Breech detected...
Alien life form infultration
My Word, WHAT IS THAT THING! Posted by Picasa

The day that wouldn't end...

OR: How to lose your sanity to a 4 week old.

So I'll do my best to print an unbiased recap of the events leading up to Christina's breakdown.
It all started at 7am... Christina awoke for her regular feeding and prepared to give Tobias all the love and attention his little body could handle. It seemed like a good plan...

He spots her, as if to say, "Oh boy, there's my mommy, a walking vending machine of scrumptous delites!" But today, it was more along the lines of "Here's a helpless victim, I will destroy her soul!"

I know, you're thinking that he's so innocent, how could he possibly be contemplating so much evil. [Hey, I'm just the reporter, I'm not making this up]

Throughout his life this look has always meant business: take notice of the huge eyes, the pensive mouth, and the focused forehead. This look is usually closely followed by [insert favorite Igor character voice here] "I'm here to do your bidding, master." Christina and I are such pansies.

He also adopted the artform of baby hypnotism:
"Look into my eye. You're getting sleepy, very sleepy, and weak willed, very weak willed."

WARNING: DO NOT STARE AT PHOTO UNSUPERVISED FOR LONGER THAN 5 SECONDS. The power is present even in this medium.

Loss of all bodily control including drooling and oohing and ahhing is likely to follow, with unscheduled trips to see and pick Tobias up. Loss of memory, visual accuity, sense of purpose and direction are also quite common.

Subjects have been known to spend hours, neck bent over at an unnatural angle, staring at Tobias, losing all will to live and focused only on pleasing him.

Oh... how upsetting... his latest victim! Poor Eric.


Come on people, you're falling into his clutches... that is exactly what he wants you to do. He's trying to take over the world (shameless Pinky and the Brain soundbite insert)

Its so... so... cap...ti...vate.....

(lest I lose my place in the story, I've decided to type with my eyes closed tigsfhtly sdhut)




Today was different though. Today he meant business, and he brought along his big guns.

The Fist of Fury! He means business.

So young yet so violent.